Archive | September 2014

A Brief Intermission

 

A Brief Intermission

My youngest son called today, expressing to me, to make sure that I let grandma know he missed and loved her, very much. That he missed hearing her voice. An ocean apart, her love has no boundaries for her grandsons. She only has one wish; and that is to give them a hug and spend some time with them. What would her grandchildren tell her in a phone call? Their everyday life, the insight to what it means to be them, creating a picture of their enjoyment of living, maybe a days life shared with their father. A phone call, what we would do together, since the only time they can call their grandmother is when they are here.

I have been listening to my boys wishes, and they are many. They have visions and dreams already. My 13 year old, already has plans and has a wonderful sense of humor. He managed to survive a midst this great tragedy in his early life. The separation of his parents, and moving far away from his father. He’s a thinker. Still fragile, but getting stronger, as he developed his own personality. One day, he asked me; “Dad do I have your ears or Mommies?”  I laughed, and said both. Kids have many thoughts going on inside all the time. You have to be there attentive and interactive. These four weeks have given us the precious time to get inside those private thoughts and dreams. We have had a wonderful bonding…

It`s about 4:00 P.M., another hot steamy summer day, it’s mid-July. We were all feeling a bit agitated, somewhat overexposed by the relenting burning sun, that afternoon and the heat didn’t subside. It claimed supreme as it did, and would continue to do for the next weeks forecast. This was undoubtedly the hottest summer on record, so we tried to calculate our activities wisely and enjoy the summers gifts.

How about going to a movie, guys?” Shall, we go and see a film? ‘’ I asked. Perfect timing. A resounding; yyeeesss! We all agreed unanimously to see a summer blockbuster, “Dawn of the planet of the Apes”.

The cinema was a short walk from home. We found ourselves transported in a nanosecond. Tickets, treats, popcorn and soft drinks, cozy and ready for the cool air-conditioning breeze. With that aroma blowing scent from popcorn, floating through dark corridors. Big red velvet seats, a huge silver screen and surround stereo, already set to transport ourselves into a world of imagination of adventurous storytelling.

How wonderful, what a treat, together as family…I have my gang with me! It`s a perfect family thing to do, that we had not been able to enjoy since they moved. It really feels like a reunion being a father and sons, together again…

For the next 120 minutes, we were immersed into the world of good and evil, symbolism, action, suspense and paranoia. All wrapped-up a dynamic well written savvy, sophisticated story with high-tech special effects, we all were captivated. Grabbing each other hands, laughing and sighing at the high and low points, almost falling of the edge of our seats.

It was clear this was the right film and the boys were enjoying ever riveting second as they were well engaged in comprehending, the conquest of two very different civilizations. Apes vs. humans. Cesar the leader of the Ape’s had trans versed into two very different worlds and understood how it worked. Through his eyes as the leader, he sees his archetype humanities lost survival, after a plague that nearly wiped them out. Their survival would be intertwined in new challenges for their survival against the advanced development of race of Apes, whose struggle of trust and cynicism, would bring war among its human rivals. How trust would ultimately give rise for an opportunity for both races to live in peace. At the end of the movie, my sons exhilarated with sighs of relief and exaltation, and went on discussing the various technical and philosophical aspects of the film story. The way it was written, to the actor’s who played the roles, and the films climax. This was a very sophisticated, intelligent and well written film with deep anamorphic meanings, and they got every minute of it.

We`d order a takeaway pizza from the local pizzeria, and headed home. We talked all the way about how good the film was. A perfect ending with good conversation, a great summer evening as the sun settled, with the boys laughing inside out.

My boys wishes are to see their elderly grandmother before it`s too late. They have never met her. Believe it, it is the truth. She has always loved them unconditionally. Even now in her later years managed to send clothing, Christmas gifts, money and have continued to do so for all four boys since they were born. My 15 year old is asking me to take him to America, he wants to meet his grandmother, to thank her. He wants to meet his relatives, he even told me he wants to be a pilot, and study in America.

I explained to him that I am at a disadvantage, as I do not have shared custody, “but I thought kids voices especially at this age are heard in this country”. He said; “I do have a voice, doesn`t my opinion matter?” Having learnt the hard way, fighting for my kids rights and mine, over the last years; this is far from the reality. And I will continue to voice my opinions thoughts and when boys and father rights need to be honored. While I have come to understand that there are thousands of other fathers and kids in Norway experiencing the loss of having a father in their life. All the research shows how important it is for boys to have a loving, caring and supportive father, participating in their life.

I will continue listening to them, be here to support and do everything within the norms of my limited power, of being a loving, caring, supportive father, encouraging them to make their dreams a reality.